Almost there

February 7, 2018

Here I am approaching the last weekend of yoga teacher training (YTT) and I have not written another blog.  It was so important to me when I started this journey but that was when I was hitting a high note, sigh…I will recap.  So after the second weekend of YTT, the Lyme/Bart began to take back over. I knew once I stopped the Rifampin it would come back but this time it crept in slowly and took me off guard. I could not focus at all;meditation was out of the question. I could sit there for hours in perfect posture just listening to the monkey chatter in my head go on and on. The so called “ear worm” kept one line from a song repeating in my head over and over to the point where I would just talk to talk to cover it up. I felt like I was going crazy. I could not catch my breath but could not sit still either. In my head, everyone was out to get me.  I would be set on a roller coaster of hateful emotions from one sentence being said over the phone by my Mom or sister.  I felt like no one understood or cared what was happening to me.  Can’t you see I need help????? No one seemed to see it but the people closest and in my home.  My husband and children got so used to me standing at the island in my kitchen eating while they all sat that they began setting my place there and still do. It is the part that remains but let me explain the rest.  I became a master of the masquerade.  In October, the CDC released an article about how a study was done where 5 essential oils killed the Lyme spirochete in a petri dish.  I am a Young Living Distributor, how come I never heard of this protocol?  I googled and sure enough, people were using 4 drops of 5 different oils mixed with a coconut oil and rubbing it into the bottom of their feet in the morning and at night and having very similar to results as when taking the antibiotics.  They were herxing from the die off of the spirochetes. This is a game changer.  Now at this point I am back down to a size 2 and 110lbs tops, practicing hot yoga 3 times a week for detox but that is it.  No meds in my system at all, just vitamins and supplements.  I started following the Essential Oil protocol using my Young Living oils: Frankincense, Thieves, Clove, Oregano, Lemon, and Lavender.  I loved the smell and began herxing right away.  Within days the nausea that plagued me every morning was gone.  My brain fog was lifting; I could remember things a little easier.  I could focus, and bless my soul I could meditate again! Yes! 

Did you know Lyme affects your teeth? I have had root canals (multiple on one tooth); all along the bottom left side of my mouth. A few years ago, my dentist told me there was a shadow under the gums where the root used to be on one of the teeth.  He insisted I go to a specialist in Saratoga to look at it.  That dentist said oh you have Lyme, I don’t know if I would do anything about it then.  It may clear up with the antibiotics, which it did.  Now at Christmas time, this symptom reared its head. I was in so much pain.  My jaw was visibly swollen. I went to the dentist and he gave me an antibiotic.  It went away. I stopped the antibiotic, it came back.  I started to rinse with thieves and put it on my jaw line, huge improvement. It was then that Mike and I talked it over and decided to add the minocycline back into the regimen.  It is a lighter antibiotic that I had a lot of success with early on but went toxic at some point so we stopped it.  We had two full bottles in the cabinet, why not?  You may think this is a crazy thing to do without the doctor prescribing it but we honestly felt that Natasha would back us up and say that I knew my body and what works for me.  For a long time now, we both felt we knew as much as the doctors did as far as what was needed for my health.  Why pay them to keep guessing and being a guinea pig? Well I’ll tell you why, you need them to write the script and to run your blood work to make sure you are not hurting yourself so I continue on this protocol of essential oils and minocycline under the watchful eye of Natasha. 

YTT continued and it became more difficult with each weekend. I was completely overwhelmed. Did I mention we sold the house and are moving a week after graduation from YTT, that’s 3 weeks away????

Oh chattarunga! You are my nemesis!  That pose is my greatest challenge.  I would rather be in a headstand, pigeon, crane, tree, anything else all day but that one beautiful transitional asana. I didn’t have the strength in my arms to hold my body weight. Elbows to 90 degrees, how about NO?. I thought about quitting but I couldn’t let myself down. How would I face Maureen and Patch if I quit? What kind of role model does that?  I could push through. My memory was shot but I was doing well on my quizzes, when the timing worked out.  I would read my notes over just before coming in from the car in the morning so it was fresh for the quiz. How was I going to get through this Anatomy final? My 60 minute class I could sequence at my own pace at home.  I felt if I kept going to class, some of the instructor’s words would become ingrained in my head – and they have.Repetition does work. Think of muscle memory.

I have learned so much more than yoga at this training, much about yoga and much about myself.  My class consists of 14 amazing people of different ages – 3 men and 11 women and 2 teachers, Amy and Aaron.  We are an eclectic of yogis that have melded together over the weeks to become friends.  I think I may be the oldest or one of the oldest in the group, the youngest is in her 20s. A few are competitive with each other but in a friendly fun way.  All are supportive and encouraging. One could do a handstand easily, the other eagle.  I was working on my handstand. There are two sisters who are obviously best friends and that make my heart smile every weekend, a new mom, two teachers, two corporate big dogs, a little of every type of person represented.  I am so fortunate to have taken this journey with such an incredible group of yogis. 

Bones! Muscles! Who cares what muscle moves my elbow??? Was someone going to ask me that in class – so frustrating but then something happened, I kept reading my notes, playing whack a muscle on anatomy arcade and using quizlet. I don’t really know when it happened but sometime in the last two weeks, it came together.  All the sudden I was in a hot vinyasa class and my monkey chatter turned into yoga cues as I was breathing through the asanas. And it was all in this wonderfully peaceful teacher voice!  I was telling myself that that three brachii move the elbow – wwwwhat?????? I was engaging my iliopsoas as I lifted my trunk! And OMG I just did a handstand without the wall.  I can do this!

I took my Anatomy final last weekend and report that I received a 91 for my efforts. Yes!!! I also taught my first 60 minute class and it was a huge success.  I found my voice and I am so proud of myself.  My enlightened butt better go get packing.  I will write again soon.  Be well. Thank you for sharing this experience with me. Namaste. 

​​​​​​​​Love & Light,

​​​​​​​​Annie